Mackenzie,**It’s hard to point you in the right direction without specifics (his rating, what unit in Japan, etc), but I think you’re smart not to post that info.**I’ll give it a shot, & feel free to email me directly if you’ve got any other questions.**I’m a Navy Chief, and have been in for about 15 years.**I married a Navy man, so have been a Navy Wife as well for the past 6 years.**We’ve got 2 children, & although it’s hard sometimes, we manage fine.**Since I'm active duty I haven’t experienced what you’re going through, but I know a lot of resources, & will try to point you to people who have.**You’re by no means alone.**First, some comments/thoughts/advice:**…..1…..**Detailing is rarely an “answer now or never” kind of thing.**I think you & your hubby need to work on communications & compromise or you’re going to have trouble.**He can tell his detailer “Geez, let me talk it over with my wife & call you back tomorrow.”**In fact, it’s usually a good idea to sleep on those kind of decisions.**Most detailers understand and expect this response, and really do care about sailors AND their families.**In his defense, though, he is relatively new to the navy, & probably doesn’t yet know all the ins & outs.**Also, there aren’t always as many options coming out of school, & his detailer may have advised him that this tour would be career enhancing, without realizing**the impact it would have on you. Or, if this is a shore billet, he may have thought you'd rather be with him overseas than without him for 6 months at a time when he deployed on a Virginia based ship.**Hard to say without the details…….2…..Occasionally order choices are limited, so be ready for that if it happens……3…..The Navy has a program called “home basing”.**They figured out it’s cheaper to keep people in the same place rather than move them around all the time, if it’s possible, and it keeps the sailors & their families happier, too.**If you stay in a large Navy place, like Norfolk or San Diego, it’s often possible to stay there for a VERY long time & just transfer between shore & sea in the same “geographical location”…….4.**Coming out of schools & bootcamp is one of the few times the Navy will let you switch coasts.**If, when you get back from Japan, you go to the West Coast, don’t expect to transfer to the East Coast afterwards.**You guys should be considering these things whenever negotiating orders……5.**You need to find the name of the command he’s going to, contact the ombudsman, and get a sponsor, ASAP. (As Soon As Possible).**You may be able to bring your cats, I don’t know.**Check.**One of the links below lists all the Navy Sites that have webpages.**Find the homepage for your husband’s new command & start getting the facts……..6……Contact your local Family Service Center.**There’s one on base.**They have info for Navy Spouses on re-locating, job assistance, counseling, & all sorts of good stuff……7…..Japan’s expensive, but they give you extra bucks.**If you don’t have kids yet, can get an interesting job over there, & are able to bring your cats, you might be pleasantly surprised.**Experiencing a new culture is a unique experience that many people never get to experience in their whole lives.**You may actually regret it if you don’t take advantage of this adventure now while you’re young.**In other words, don’t write it off just yet, give it a chance & look at it with a fresh angle…..Please do try the below links, & look around on them.**There’s really TONS of information.**Good luck to you both,Tracy1.****The Navy Wifeline Association:****http://www.bupers.navy.mil/wifeline/wifeline.html2. Pacific Fleet Navy Familyline: http://www.cpf.navy.mil/navyfamily/navyfamilyline.htm3. Military Personnel Support Ministry Homepage: http://www.keynet.net/~shirley/take2.html4. List of Navy websites :**http://www.navy.mil/nol/alpha.html
<ul> Pacific Fleet Navy Familyline (http://www.cpf.navy.mil/navyfamily/navyfamilyline.htm)[/list]
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